The Bad Ass Ain't Always Two Legged an' Gun Totin'

This here story comes frum Montana. Seems a man an' his wife decided ta go fer a ride 'round the general neighborhood, him on 'is ass and her on 'er horse with a pair hounds taggin' along win this here mountain lion begun ta' stalk after them dogs. Now the man brung his rifle and the woman brung her camera cuz it is Montana an' you gotta be perpared for the dangers an' sheer beauty o' the wald. Innyways, after thet cat had stalked 'em for quat a-whal and winny got clos'te 'nuff ta make thuh man worry 'bout them dogs, wye he pulled up his ass ta step down an' far off a warnin' round. 'Bout ta time he got tat rifle pulled the cat charged in amongst them dogs an' thuh ass, a-pushin' thuh man outta thuh way charged in an' grabbed that big mountain lion cat up by 'is tail and started a-swangin' 'im 'round and 'round a-thumpin' his head on the ground an' ever' rock in reach tell he wus knocked plum out. You kin see in thuh back them dogs are sittin' on thay're butts enjoyin' thuh show. But the ass was still so pissed off thet he begun to paw at 'im then he knelt down with his front leg acrost the neck o' thet there cat and starts a-biatin' 'im all over. Win he gits up off of 'im he picks 'im up agin and slings 'im up in thuh ayre and then paws 'im some more. Winny settled down, he sauntered back over to whar the man an' his wife wus, jest laike nuthin' ever happened.
You know, sometimes you jest thank you know who the baddest ass in thuh pack is.