Friday, March 24, 2006


Gitch yerseff preepeered for thuh Blue Collar's Holler'

Ah done looked over this here woarld an' Ah seen a thang or two and now Ah got sompin' ta say 'bout it. And ah don' mean just a leetle. Ah figgered Ah better git me a way ta say it thet could be spraid out over some time. Seyince Ah walked off o' Brushy Mtn. some thirty five year ago in ma cowboy boots and Levis-back theyin cowboys, hillbillies, and hippies all wore Levis don't ya know-ah was yung and duhm an' full o' spit-n-vinegar and bent on findin' a better life. Now ah beleeve ah put in a goot effert to workin' out how ta git along in thuh woarld but dang me if peeples ain't just bent on seff deestrucshun. So's after Ah stopped mahseff from mah own seff deestrucshun with thuh hepp of thuh Lord through thuh church an' a-wachin otherns fer a whall, Ah tried advizin' 'em out of it. Ah heard Mike Warnke say one time, "There's people out there right now going to Hell, I mean like (I'm diggin' the hole right now!)" An he's raight, its like thay cain't git thayr fast enuff. Mind you, Ahm just as guilty as the next feller, but I growed up, I got me some horse siyence.

Innyhow, Ah figgered Ah'd speak up and give examples and do interviews ta show some o' ya'll thatcha don' haff ta liyeve lak 'at. Thet they's a hope an' a way ta a better life. Nayow since Ah'm yore basic geeked out Okie, wye I reckon a blogg's about the best way to gitter done. Evenchully, I plan on makin' one o' them thare podcasts too, but one step at a time. In thuh meanwhall, Ah'm a-lookin' fer a little heifer to do some o' my typing fer me. Ya'll'l know when Ah git one a'translatin' fer me cuz' yu'll be able ta read it a lot faster.

Nayow, what's mah life experence what qualifies me ta be givin' out addvice? Wayell, mah mama and daddy married back wen they wadn' no such thang as a marriage counselor and ta tayell it true they never should a' bin inta first place. So they fought like cat and dog for nigh on to 12 or 13 yeer afore they finely split up. Thet was back wen it was still shamefull to divorce. Ah'm da oldern of five kids an' they tells me now what Ah weyent through was a form of sex abuse. Its whare yore mama leans on ya like you's a full growed man, you know-emotional like. Somehow it makes ya feel like you ain't never gonna be gootenuff er man enuff er somp'in. Even so, thet don't gimme no excuse fer thuh thangs Ah done. Ah finished up high school but just barely usin' pot an' even sellin' it. It was in 1973 Mama up an moved to Anehiem out theyr in L.A. Thet was a culture shock, let me tell you. Mah daddy weyent to jail fer a couple year on wierd charge but it were basicly on account of him sellin' pot by the trashbag full. Ah went ta school, theyen Ah went ta work, theyen Ah joined up in the Air Force and got shipped off to RAF Upper Heyford in the United Kingdom all the way across tha Atlantic Ocean. It's a big island off the coast of France known as England ta us blue collar types. Thet's where Ah mayet mah wife but we didn' got married till Ah come back to tha states. When Ah got out tha military Ah got in a union, thiyen mah wife an' me, we split up and thet's when Ah got tha Lord. Thiyen Ah went from Democrat to Republican and Ah started votin' thiyen Ah got a job managing a satelite office. But its tha church what gave me an education 'bout tha stuff thet matters. No, its moren' thet, it was studyin' the Bible an' havin' the Holy Spirit confirm in mah own spirit what was true an' what ain't. With thayat, Ah learnt thet tha Bible is true through an' through, but tha church is true only 'bout half tha time, an' a hard fact eeis, thet's 99% better innythang aylse out thayr. They ain't no salvation in colleges or edjucashun, they ain't no salvation in them headshrinks, they ain't no salvation in politicin, they ain't no salvation in money and business, they ain't no salvation in them eastern religions, abusin' drugs an' sex or innythang aylse 'll just kill ya quicker but they all hepp occupy ya an' ta fergit fer a whall at best thet thay ain't no lastin' kinda' joy in inny of it.

All thet sed, wut qualifies me most Ah thank is thet Ah know a bit about sufferin' an Ah've learnt ta be honest an' as open an' available as a libary book an' Ah've faced mah own evil nature with thuh hepp of the Lord. So Ah thank Ah can tayell ya'll how ta do it fer yore own seff.

Nayxt time A'll tayell ya'll 'bout mah friend Bubba an' whut he done with his tazer. Ah promise you be wipin' thuh teer out yore eys from laffin' so hard. If'n some o' ya'll want to sponser this here blog, stay tuned whall I gets thangs in order so's Ah can git feedback through a spacial e-mail account setup spacial jest fer this here blog.


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